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 Can't we just be nice? (Off topic bickering and catfights)
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Jules in Boston
Star Contributor

Boston, MA
USA
1492 Posts

Posted - 07/14/2005 :  1:53:47 PM  Reply  Reply with Quote
I agree with MechelleNga and KellyBear
I love it when people try to express themselves but some people post some posts with nothing more than bitching and whining. I am sick of those posters who boo hoo and cannot find a solution for themselves or blame the entire world because things do not go their way. They also make comments about how things should be but never offer a real opinion or solution. They never help people but express themselves as experts on the topic.

I will say/type it like it is. I am like Kelly and Michelle because I will express myself. I have been on Volition for years and have learned and have shared. Some people do hide behind their keyboards and that is all they can hide behind in life.

You go girls!

GOLD CERTIFIED
Shopping Boston, MA and metro area.
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PamInCa
Star Contributor

CA
USA
6557 Posts

Posted - 07/21/2005 :  08:15:57 AM  Visit PamInCa's Homepage  Reply  Reply with Quote
I agree! There is nothing I have ever posted that I would not clearly say to the face of those I am posting about.

PamInCa
Author of: "The Essential Guide to Mystery Shopping"
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Ray Sola
Volition.com Staff

Prescott, AZ
USA
3099 Posts

Posted - 11/16/2005 :  5:24:21 PM  Reply  Reply with Quote
It seems every time I get told to look at one of the threads that is getting out of control, the people are talking about each other instead of the topic.

The question is why can't they let other people have an opinion.

This is what causes the fights:

I agree with X person. Anyone who doesn't is stupid.

Y person is totally wrong and probably grew up .....

You do not have to rip apart everyone else's opinions. Just give your opinion. You can have one and they can have one and you can talk about it. It is when you start talking at the other people that these stupid fights start!
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ConnieZinAZ
Contributor

Phoenix, AZ
USA
97 Posts

Posted - 05/07/2006 :  01:07:27 AM  Reply  Reply with Quote
I disagree with you Ray. Sometimes calling someone stupid is the only way that you get them to look at what they are doing or their attitude or whatever and maybe ask someone else who is more objective than you who is involved, whether they are acting stupid or irrational or neglecting something that is important and they should pay attention to. And perhaps reading - if you are going this, then you must be stupid - like it is name calling should be viewed as "if you are doing or not doing this, you should consider the validity or ignorance in a situation" and perhaps you should change or alter something, rather than just plain name calling. Take it from someone who has experience. But, let's face it, the general public are mystery shoppers and they are not always the the brightest pennies in the piggy bank or the most sophisticated and maybe asking mystery shoppers to be objective when discussing their stupid answer, might be going a little too far. It is hard to soar like an eagle when the turkeys are trying to keep you from taking to the wind.

ConnieZ
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Kelly130
Star Contributor

Tennessee
USA
1929 Posts

Posted - 08/08/2006 :  10:47:54 AM  Reply  Reply with Quote
It makes me sad.
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Terri C.
Valued Contributor

ME
USA
121 Posts

Posted - 08/21/2006 :  8:53:34 PM  Reply  Reply with Quote
I understand not ripping into opinions- but opinions at times are not worth sharing.

Would the opinion all x-race shoppers should be paid less then y-race shoppers? Its an opinion and a wrong one, so just getting along at times is the wrong action to take.

Being passive at times is the wrong reaction.
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NatalieH
Contributor

USA
8291 Posts

Posted - 09/07/2006 :  7:05:56 PM  Reply  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Terri C.

opinions at times are not worth sharing.
Very true. It's helpful if opinions are confined to the topic of discussion, and don't end up meandering over into moral proclamations and personal judgments about someone else's opinions.
quote:
Being passive at times is the wrong reaction.
I definitely agree with that.
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PamInCa
Star Contributor

CA
USA
6557 Posts

Posted - 09/07/2006 :  9:14:01 PM  Visit PamInCa's Homepage  Reply  Reply with Quote
Terri, sometimes it only appears on the board that someone is being passive. It is just like a marriage. The man appears to be in control, but the woman is quietly handling the situation. That difference is sometimes confusing to the reader, especially new readers. Control and being passive in public are mutual friends for those who know how to use both. The one who can control what the public sees, will always be the one in control and the one who appears most favorable in the public eye. Think "Hillary Clinton."

Since the majority of us are looking for jobs here, we are in the public eye of schedulers and companies we want to hire us. I think it is best to sometimes watch how things unfold before offering too much negativity. If shoppers constantly show a negative persona, they could be viewed as someone who is difficult to work with.

Edited to clarify my opinion.

PamInCa
Author of: "The Essential Guide to Mystery Shopping"
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NatalieH
Contributor

USA
8291 Posts

Posted - 09/08/2006 :  05:52:15 AM  Reply  Reply with Quote
I don't see any need to be concerned about looking "favorable in the public eye" here, since none of us is campaigning for political office. This is just an online message board, where people meet up to discuss topics of common interest. The venue is casual and impromptu. I hope posters would feel encouraged to discuss topics openly and candidly, provided they are able to support their statements with intelligent substance, as opposed to ad hominem protestations--passive or otherwise.

I think it is very important to keep value judgments about others out of any public remarks. It's best to let individuals worry about their own persona, without imposing your personal commentary on it. No one wants to read someone else making public judgments about their character. That type of commentary automatically puts one in a defensive position, and instigates the off-topic bickering.

*Edited for content.
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Anita G
Star Contributor

Ozark, AR
USA
385 Posts

Posted - 09/08/2006 :  06:45:36 AM  Reply  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by ConnieZinAZ

But, let's face it, the general public are mystery shoppers and they are not always the the brightest pennies in the piggy bank or the most sophisticated and maybe asking mystery shoppers to be objective when discussing their stupid answer, might be going a little too far.
I'm sorry, but did she say that MS'ers are stupid? Just because some of us are MS'ers does not mean we are not sophisticated. And we are not stupid. Everyone can act stupid. I have two children, and I know I can act stupid. Sometimes we have to act this way to keep others entertained.

Anita Gilbreth
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Nora
Star Contributor

PA
USA
6341 Posts

Posted - 09/08/2006 :  12:51:17 PM  Reply  Reply with Quote
None of us are public figures and there is little concern about "public" perception. It's a feedback site, not a public relations site, and most people, I think, primarily want to share with others about a common topic. "Negative persona"?...that is a wildly individual judgement that is, thankfully, at the sole discretion of the mystery shopping companies or schedulers to assess for themselves. I feel confident that they are well able to make that call for themselves, without third-party input and innuendo.
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Quinn
Star Contributor

Atlanta, GA
USA
50247 Posts

Posted - 09/08/2006 :  2:34:03 PM  Reply  Reply with Quote
I don't quite understand the blanket statement regarding marriages but I will leave it for another day.

I am not here to kiss up to any MSC, my work speaks for itself. I call them like I see them and do not post robotically saying how great every company is because they all are not. Last I checked this forum is not a popularity contest with the MSC's or anyone else for that matter. This forum, among other things, is a place to express one's point of view and relate their experiences as a mystery shopper in the hopes of benefitting other shoppers.
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PamInCa
Star Contributor

CA
USA
6557 Posts

Posted - 09/08/2006 :  3:42:24 PM  Visit PamInCa's Homepage  Reply  Reply with Quote
Well, just like everything else when it comes to this business. The way one wants to run it, is up to them. We all choose to do business the way we see fit. I do not need to agree with anyone else, nor does anyone need to agree with me. We can all express ourselves and should not have our posts torn apart because our opinions differ. Live and let live.

PamInCa
Author of: "The Essential Guide to Mystery Shopping"
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JanB27
Star Contributor

OH
USA
4831 Posts

Posted - 09/08/2006 :  3:50:20 PM  Reply  Reply with Quote
I think we can all agree with that!

Jan
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Kendra
Contributor

Lakeville, IN
USA
63 Posts

Posted - 01/19/2007 :  11:28:04 AM  Visit Kendra's Homepage  Reply  Reply with Quote
I think Volition on a whole is a wonderful resource to newbies like me, but VERY intimidating! It took me a long time to post here. The harsh words that are directed at some people are shocking to me sometimes. I hope I'm never on the receiving end of such condescending posts.

Shopping Michiana!
Silver Certified
ymixxk
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SJones
Star Contributor

USA
3121 Posts

Posted - 01/19/2007 :  12:33:26 PM  Reply  Reply with Quote
Kendra, welcome! And please, don't be intimidated by us. It all depends on the topic. Sometimes emotions and/or strong opinions do get the better of us, but usually we are just a friendly bunch of people.

Susanne
MSPA Silver Certified!
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g8r_Michelle
Contributor

Panama City, FL
USA
58 Posts

Posted - 01/31/2007 :  11:52:32 AM  Reply  Reply with Quote
I think the problem comes into play when a post is revisited and commented on several times by the same person instead of saying what they want to say & letting it end there or when someone feels it neccesary to interject what they 'think' someone else might or might not do in a situation. From the couple of the threads that I have viewed that seem to reflect this problem, every one of them had a couple people who just wouldn't let it go. I think most of the bickering would not even start if people make their comments and or suggestions and moved past it. There is no need to keep commenting on the same thing over & over again.

That being said, it would be nice if Volition would change to allow you to block certain posters like a couple other forums do. That way you just never see what they post. This would work well in a couple ways. First it would stop some of the bickering and second it would correctly indicate who is fanning the flames by letting the Volition staff / volunteers know who is consistantly being blocked by other people. (Of course, the forums that do this are usually much crazier than this website - sports & politics - so things can get a little more personal there.)

Michelle
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LindJorg
Star Contributor

Tacoma, WA
USA
921 Posts

Posted - 01/31/2007 :  8:06:22 PM  Reply  Reply with Quote
Wow,,,,I like that you could block viewing certain posters comments but don't think Volition will offer that. Sorta like blocking email addresses. Never seen that offered on a forum. I have seen it in live chat forums offered, though.

Linda
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PamInCa
Star Contributor

CA
USA
6557 Posts

Posted - 01/31/2007 :  8:38:26 PM  Visit PamInCa's Homepage  Reply  Reply with Quote
I already do block them, I don't read them.

PamInCa
Author of: "The Essential Guide to Mystery Shopping"
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g8r_Michelle
Contributor

Panama City, FL
USA
58 Posts

Posted - 02/01/2007 :  07:44:06 AM  Reply  Reply with Quote
Yeah, most of the ones I see out there (a couple riotous forums on AOL - like I said politics & sports) and you never even have to SEE the post let alone simply not read it. It is very helpful. Some people always find a way around it , but with one click that new identity is zapped too.

It would be a good thing for this forum to consider as it would nip the irritating &/or belittling &/or redundant comments in the bud for the people they are directed to and end the repetitive input. Just a wishful thinking thought.

Michelle
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