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 "Torn between two lovers" - How to decide.
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RayMatay
Star Contributor

Bad Axe, MI
USA
474 Posts

Posted - 11/09/2006 :  08:48:49 AM  Visit RayMatay's Homepage  Reply  Reply with Quote
i got 2 girls that want me one is my kids mom and the other is really hot, the only thing is me and my kids mom already broke up and she wants me back, i dont know what to do,

plz help me on this

Ray Lane

SJones
Star Contributor

USA
3118 Posts

Posted - 11/09/2006 :  09:13:04 AM  Reply  Reply with Quote
Take it from my mom: In love, if you can't decide between two men (or women as in your case), you should not chose either one of them, because you don't love them the way you should. Both posses qualities you like, but probably only both together would be perfect. Thus, one alone will not be able to make you happy. Don't make a compromise, just because you want somebody now. In the long run you will be unhappy and heartbroken. When you meet the right person for you, you will know, because this person will be a much better fit for you than the two you are trying to chose from now.

That said, since one is the mother of your child, you should at least maintain a friendly relationship with her. And being hot is not all it's made out to be

Susanne
MSPA Silver Certified!
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Debra
Star Contributor

Colorado Springs, CO
USA
628 Posts

Posted - 11/09/2006 :  11:13:45 AM  Reply  Reply with Quote
Which do YOU want? I know, it's not as easy as that.

Consider that you and your kids' mom broke up for a reason. Can both of you get past that?

And while someone can remain beautiful their entire life, "hot" goes away in time....do you like this person?

Susanne, I like your advice! I'd never thought of it that way.

What would I do? I don't look back. Good luck!

Shopping the Rockies
MSPA Gold Certified #cdgxel
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Kelly130
Star Contributor

Tennessee
USA
1929 Posts

Posted - 11/09/2006 :  11:20:00 AM  Reply  Reply with Quote
I agree Susanne... about hot not being all that! Once upon a time I was a hottie, and that was how I got my husband... poor guy, now he's stuck with me... and I haven't been hot in over 15 years!!! LOL

Kelly
Exchanges Rock! Let's Do Another
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Mimi
Star Contributor

USA
1691 Posts

Posted - 11/09/2006 :  2:15:23 PM  Reply  Reply with Quote
Hold on there Kelly...once HOT, always HOT!!! I may be an old grandmother, but I'm still hot, and I plan to stay that way.

Just ask Twila; she's hot, and she will never change. Tiffany is a hottie, and so is Jen in MD. We hotties stick together because we understand one another. It isn't easy being hot, and those of us who are will be hot no matter what, Amen!!!

Now, Ray, you need more than just 'hotness', and I'm wondering if the hot girl has other things going on for her? Is she smart, caring and loyal? We need to know all this so we can help you.

BTW, your child's mom had you once, why did she let you go? This could be very important to the decision process.

Mimi
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Twila
Star Contributor

TX
USA
2695 Posts

Posted - 11/09/2006 :  2:31:21 PM  Reply  Reply with Quote
WooHoo Mimi! You got that right. I am so hot!!!ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss! (Places wet finger on her b..t!)
And so are all of you!

Seriously Ray, You have to have a lot more going on with either of them .
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JewelGoodwin
Star Contributor

Vancouver, BC
Canada
852 Posts

Posted - 11/09/2006 :  4:58:51 PM  Reply  Reply with Quote
I seperated from the father of my kids for a while. We both figured out during that time that it wasn't each other that was making us miserable - we were under HUGE financial pressures and had two special needs kids. We realized that our relationship was one of the good things in our lives, and when we got back together it was for all the right reasons.

During our seperation there was a young 'hottie' after my then ex. He was very tempted....but he decided that coming back to me was what he truly wanted. He had a hard time not croassing any lines with her that he couldn't un-do ... but he resisted because he wanted to be sure before he did anything serious.

A hottie is a hottie - but a relationship can't be based on physical attraction. You need to figure out if there are OTHER things you like about her than her being hot...and compare them to what you like about your kids' mom.


Jewel
Shopping In and Around Vancouver, BC Canada
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Marie In Chicago
Mega Contributor

Chicago, IL
USA
61643 Posts

Posted - 11/10/2006 :  5:49:16 PM  Reply  Reply with Quote
Just use the head you think with
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Marry
Star Contributor

USA
439 Posts

Posted - 11/10/2006 :  6:02:07 PM  Reply  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Marie In Chicago

Just use the head you think with


Mary
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JanJojo
Star Contributor

West Virginia
USA
42759 Posts

Posted - 11/10/2006 :  8:12:43 PM  Reply  Reply with Quote
We all know who I think is hot!!! I think that it is a hot
that goes way beyond physical attraction!!!

Janette Johnson
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Twila
Star Contributor

TX
USA
2695 Posts

Posted - 11/11/2006 :  03:24:48 AM  Reply  Reply with Quote
Jan, I must have missed something.. I don't know who you think is hot!
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Sandra Wright
Star Contributor

Arlington, VA
USA
2085 Posts

Posted - 11/11/2006 :  05:48:26 AM  Reply  Reply with Quote
"Torn between two lovers feeling like a fool, loving both of them is breaking all the rules"

Sorry I could not resist. I know nothing about you but the mother of your child obviously caught your eye and your heart. Is there a way to get counseling to see that that can work out or not. Surely she was hot to you at one time since you two made a baby together. Looks don't last forever its only the outside of the package.

Sandy C
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Christy_LC
Star Contributor

Lake, Illinois
USA
370 Posts

Posted - 11/11/2006 :  07:44:00 AM  Visit Christy_LC's Homepage  Reply  Reply with Quote
Can't really give advice here, but I agree that if you are torn between them something isn't right with either of them.

I used to be hot, now I am high maintenance.

Christy
The shopper formerly known as ChrisLC
MSPA Gold
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NatalieH
Contributor

USA
8291 Posts

Posted - 11/11/2006 :  08:25:22 AM  Reply  Reply with Quote
Twila, Jan is talking about Hot Papa..the hottest guy in the universe besides George Clooney, of course.
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Mimi
Star Contributor

USA
1691 Posts

Posted - 11/11/2006 :  08:33:28 AM  Reply  Reply with Quote
Okay, now I'm really curious...who is Hot Papa? Is he anything like George Clooney?

Mimi
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Twila
Star Contributor

TX
USA
2695 Posts

Posted - 11/11/2006 :  2:47:05 PM  Reply  Reply with Quote
Hot Papa???? Well George Clooney is nice but give me Sean Connery.
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Kelly130
Star Contributor

Tennessee
USA
1929 Posts

Posted - 11/11/2006 :  4:26:36 PM  Reply  Reply with Quote
Twila~ I am a Sean Connery fan.. too. Loved him in The Rock.

Kelly
Exchanges Rock! Let's Do Another
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Mimi
Star Contributor

USA
1691 Posts

Posted - 11/12/2006 :  12:33:39 PM  Reply  Reply with Quote
Now Twila and Kelly...I know the guy is good looking, but he is a wife beater. This was discovered, by his own admission, on Barbara Walters a few years back. The guy sees nothing wrong with hitting his wife if she does not do exactly what he wants.

Men who hit women are lost to me, and I don't care how great they look, or how popular they might be. Men who hit women are cowards...end of story.

Mimi
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Twila
Star Contributor

TX
USA
2695 Posts

Posted - 11/12/2006 :  6:05:29 PM  Reply  Reply with Quote
I whole heartedly agree Mimi. Bring the bas---d on. I'm a big woman and I doubt he could beat on me. OR there is always an equalizer such as a tire iron.
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Kelly130
Star Contributor

Tennessee
USA
1929 Posts

Posted - 11/12/2006 :  9:31:40 PM  Reply  Reply with Quote
That's OK... I hit back! Plus, I would make him some special chicken soup!

Kelly
Exchanges Rock! Let's Do Another
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Julie_WA_Writer
Star Contributor

Western, Washington
USA
1765 Posts

Posted - 11/13/2006 :  11:47:25 PM  Reply  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Twila

I whole heartedly agree Mimi. Bring the bas---d on. I'm a big woman and I doubt he could beat on me. OR there is always an equalizer such as a tire iron.


Mmmmmm...Edward Woodward as The Equalizer. Now THERE was a hottie!

Julie
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